I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
3 2 1 whiskey
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
