He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
please come you make the beer taste better
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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