guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
