Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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