So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
