I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
