found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
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