Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I have tasted many bathrooms
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
