dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
