I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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