Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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