In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
