this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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