she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
