Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
