with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i just google imaged poop.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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