do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
