Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
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