8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize