the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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