drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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