Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
