when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
