Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
