I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
