Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
