Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
no you cant smoke seaweed
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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