i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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