i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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