i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
