I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
