Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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