Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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