Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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