The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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