He kissed a someone with a penis
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I'm bleeding and have questions
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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