3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
