In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
