Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
You are a genius and a whore.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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