I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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