Why are handjobs necessary in class?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
