Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
