P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
