i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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