just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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