we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
