Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
