Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
