yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
