I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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