Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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