No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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