I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
of course. lets lasso hookers.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
