The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
