i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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