You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Randomize
