FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
