Got a toothbrush?
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I am naked and annoyed.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
