Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I yelled at your uterus for you.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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