You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I supernannyed him into submission
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
