its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
