What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
