Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
how can u be prego again
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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