I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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